Icebreakers: Signs

This are supposedly real signs that didn't quite have the effect intended.

Sign in a laundromat:

Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out

 

Sign in an office:

Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken

 

Sign in an office:

After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

 

Sign outside a secondhand shop:

We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.  Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

 

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:

The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

 

Sign outside a photographer's studio:

Out to lunch: If not back by five, out for dinner also

 

Sign outside a disco:

Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.

 

Sign warning of quicksand:

Quicksand.  Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the district council.

 

Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire Parish:

Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order

 

Notice in a dry cleaner's window:

Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

 

Notice in health food shop window:

Closed due to illness

 

Spotted in a safari park:

Elephants please stay in your car

 

Seen during a conference:

For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor

 

Notice in a field:

The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges

 

Message on a leaflet:

If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons

 

Sign on a repair shop door:

We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

 

Spotted in a toilet in a london office block:

Toilet out of order.  Please use floor below.

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